Here goes nothing!!!

So I took new before pictures, UGH!  I hate that.  In my head I do not look like this.  In my head I'm not as thin as I was in High School, but not fat.  As you will see, I carry the majority of my weight in my mid-section, BAD PLAN!!!

Appointment is in an hour!!!  Here goes nothing!!!

Time to get serious

This is going to sound cliche but I'm ready to get back to serious.  If you have been here with me before, and you are seeing this pop up again it's because I have to get my weight and health under control.

In the last 1 1/2 years I've gained an additional 30-35 lbs.  AHHHHHHH!!!!!  Not that I want to make excuses, but to give you a little background.  I had an issue with my right foot.  I was dealing with Arthritis and it got to a point where i couldn't bend my big toe at all.  So 6+ months goes by (had to get through my final cheer coaching season) and I had it operated on.  Apparently I had bone spurs on the joint, and a part of one of them broke and was in the joint causing the lack of motion.  Surgery was December 2015.  Long story short, throughout the injury, then surgery, and recovery I gained a lot of weight.  Of course I could start exercising last Spring but with the weight gain, and added pain my motivation was FAR from where it needed to be for success.

NOW, I have met a fantastic personal trainer who works primarily with the Pilates Reformer machine which is a lower impact higher output program that I think I am going to love.  In reality even if I don't LOVE it, I've paid for it, so 12 sessions in here we come :)

My first session is tomorrow morning at 11am.  I am looking forward to it, yet a bit nervous.  I have a long history of putting effort in and not finding much success, or at least not the success I feel like I should have.

Wish me luck, here we go working on creating a MUCH LESSER ME!!!

Ugh... off the wagon

Okay, so I'm back.  I was doing so well and then...well...not so much.  Where have I been you ask?  Well here is what's gone on in the last 5 months (or so) in a nutshell.

First I left Kansas, and went on a whirlwind 4 1/2 week vacation starting at the end of June.  We started in St. Louis for my hubby's Grandmother's 90th birthday.  All the extended family was there, and of course there was FOOD, and lack of exercise.   It was okay though, I was feeling good about myself and was determined that it was only temporary.  It was a ton of fun, and although we didn't all know it at the time, a blessing that we could all be together for the long weekend. 

This is where it gets hairy.  My two sons went with their Grandparents to Iowa, my hubby grabbed a train back to KC (he had to go work), and my daughter and I left for Michigan for the vacation experience of a lifetime.  We spent the next several weeks, rehearsing, and preparing to participate in a play at my old High School.  How often do you get to be on stage with your daughter?  I'm guessing the chances are slim.  Anyway, along with preparing for the show, it was like a huge class reunion.  Reuniting with old friends, making new ones (even ones that I found out live in KC with me :).  I spent most of my time at the school building, painting, rehearsing etc.  Of course then we end up ordering pizza at odd hours, going out for drinks after and getting appetizers, or filling our bellies with whatever suits the moment.  On the other hand, I was staying with my WONDERFUL Aunt and Uncle who tend to treat me and my family like royalty when we are there, so we had gigantic breakfasts everyday, and coffee on the deck next to the pond, and relaxed.  Honestly, it was like pure heaven!  Fun, relaxation, extraordinary food, no responsibility, or bills to pay.  Oh, and well, I made it to Zumba once while I was there.  Yeah, not really the best exercise/food intake ratio. 

Oh well, it was worth it.  I was going to get on the band wagon as soon as I got home right?  Well I did go to the gym once the first week I was home.  Then, the worst of the worst.  My father in-law passed away very sudden and unexpected (remember when I said what a blessing we had in St. Louis but didn't know it).  Fortunately my two sons were able to spend two weeks with him this summer while my daughter and I were in Michigan rehearsing.  Then we stopped by for a night on our way home from Michigan (which was not in the original plan) to say hi.

Long story short (and hopefully not as depressing) we immediately left for Iowa.  Our family spent two full weeks there for the services, and getting all the affairs in order for my Mother in-law.  However, what happens when there is a funeral?  Everyone brings food, and with a large family like ours, they bring LOTS of food.  What do I do when stressed, or depressed?  EAT :(  So I had just gotten back from 4 1/2 weeks of food and luxury, then right into two weeks of food and sadness.  Not a good combination for my waistline.

Then to make matters worse, we came home and two days later school started, Cub Scouts started, Cheerleading practice started, Soccer season started, and the whirlwind of my life took over and the routine of going to the gym and paying attention to my health had all but disappeared. 

So now that our crazy life has slowed ever so slightly, I need to pick up my again heavier self, and start anew.  So I'm back, I'm headed to the grocery store today to fill my pantry with smart snacks, and meal preparations for my family and we shall start again.  I think I shall change my outfit for my progress this time around, we shall see what I find in my closet. 

Thank you all for your support and understanding as I've slipped, tripped, and fell into my fat jeans again. 

It's been a while

Hello all, it's been a while.  I apoligize for leaving you out there with no contact.  I have not given up, nor have I fallen off the wagon.  I have however been extremely busy with work and kids.  If you have kids in school, you are probably fully aware of the chaotic schedule that goes along with the end of the school year.  Not to mention my Drama Daughter had First Communion, and Snuggle Bug had his birthday.  I also work in a real estate based business so you put all that in the same pot and BAM!!!  Two months have disappeared in a whirlwind. 

So to update you.  I have not been good about tracking calories, I also have not made it to the gym as often as I like.  I have however started getting up at the crack of dawn a few times when the gym seems to not be an option to walk.  For those that do not know where I live, just around the block from my house is a trail that leads into a nature center/park.  It's a beautiful trail, that is paved, with a water fountain about a mile in from my house, and it's gorgeous to walk by the pond, and watch the sun rise.  Although I don't feel I get quite the workout I get from the gym, I due love the peace an quiet that 6:30am provides :)  My husband on the other hand now believes I am an alien.  I have never been a morning person in my entire life!!!  Anyone who knows me well can vouch for it.  And until recently I have not been an excercise person.  So to combine the two together, he thinks I'm an alien.  The first morning I set my alarm early he actually looked at me and said "who are you, and what have you done with my wife"  LOL.  I am still me, but I am a healthier version of myself. 

As for my diet, weeeeellllllllll, when I work I tend to eat badly.  I have been working quite a bit with a company that many of the people there are on a healthier lifestyle so that helps.  We will go to lunch and have salad or something better for you than burgers and fries.  When I am by myself, it just simply depends on the day and my alotted time.  I also haven't cooked well at home do to the crazy schedule.  I'm hoping that when school gets out (in a day and a half) I will grill more, and eat better.  My work schedule has significantly slowed down it should make healthy eating easier.  I am still eating A LOT less than I used to, and that is still taking some time to get used to.  Simple things like the amount of pizza to order, or spaghetti to make, I have yet to get regulate them properly, and we have way more left overs than necessary. 

Anyway, that is sort of what has been up with me.  For those of you who have been working on this journey along with me, I hope it is going well for you.  I have not weighed myself lately as they moved the scale at the gym, and I don't know where it went so I'm scared to get on a different one.  I do have a more current picture, and I don't feel like I'm losing as much, but I do feel stronger.  Maybe I'm at one of those dreadful plateau's that people have warned me about, and if I can kick myself into high gear again, I will get through it. 

Hope you are well!

Breakfast -
Protein bar

Lunch -
2 taco bell tacos

Snack - 3 small cheddar cheese, 3 rosemary & olive oil triscuits

Dinner - 1 1/4 cups of Chicken fetticinni alfredo, heavy on the chicken.

Water - BAD -  (I left my water cup at home when I went to work and soda was what was available)
4 - 8oz. cups
1 - Coke Zero
1 - Diet coke

Excercise - 55 minutes of Group power (weight lifting)


For those who haven't seen me in a while.  Here is the latest.  Sorry I didn't realize the kids had fingerprinted the mirror all up :):):)

BAD WEEK

So I've had a really bad week diet wise.  I don't know what's with me, but I've been overly hungry, unmotivated, and outta whack.  I've been having some headaches also in the mix which doesn't help.  I don't know if it's stress or what, but they are there.  So here is me, getting back on the horse.  I need to cut down on my meals, and get back to snacking.  I'm not saying everything went out the window, I've been doing "okay" with my food choices, but not on the commitment.  I've been to the gym a few times, but not nearly enough.  I think I got up with calories.  I think I was seeing things like my fruit smoothie being more calories than say some pretzels, or even a peanut butter cup, etc, and so I started rethinking how I do things, and only watching that vs. watching the whole picture of the healthy self I want to be. 

ANYWAY, this is me recommiting myself to my health, fitness, and overall well being.  I have the month of April left on my gym membership, and I intend of utilizing it every day I can. 

I changed scales :)

Today I tried a different scale at the gym.  I was unhappy with the results as it felt like I have lost more than it showed.  Todays scale gave me an extra 5 lbs :)  So whether its right or wrong, I liked the way it looked better.  So I've decided that is my new scale for my weight :)  Yes I realize I won't have the same jump, but I have thought the scale in the locker room was weighing heavy from day one.  It makes me happy for today :)

Back to the gym :)

It is amazing to me how quickly I get out of shape :O  I was out of the gym of just over a week, but I had taken a nice walk at a decent pace at one point.  But today, in step class, I couldn't breathe.  I felt out of breath from just about the moment we started.  I don't get it, I suppose it proves the need to be there, that I just can't afford to quit!  NOT that I have any intention to. 

All said and done, I'm really feeling good about what I'm doing for myself!  I'm anxious to go back to my home town this summer and feel the pride of who I have become and see the faces on people.  NOT that they don't already expect to see me in my skinnier state since many of them will read this, and see the pictures, and of course when they knew me back in the day I was much smaller than I am now, and even smaller than I will be when I'm all done.  BUT, I will have muscles!!!  More than I ever remember having in my life.  My hubby and I were talking the other day, I have never once in my life been able to cross the monkey bars on the playground, or have I ever completed a single chin-up unassisted.  I know, not huge, lofty accomplishments in the span of a life time, but it shows you my lack of upper body strength.  I am trying to lift weights at least twice a week now (more than ever before as well).  So hopefully by Summer, I will A - have the upper body strength to lift my own body weight, and B - have less body weight to have to lift :):):)

I did my weigh in today, only 3 lbs.  :(:(:(  Not as much as I'd hoped, but that is okay, it wasn't UP :):):)  I still have my food log going on MyFitnessPal.com if you would like to look me up - Bleueponytail. 

I had a HORRIBLE calorie day on Saturday.  Hubby and I decided to spend the day with the kiddos.  We ran some errands, and took them to the park.  Hubby practiced some soccer and I took Karate kid to get a hair cut.  Needless to say, it was a fun and productive day (we don't usually get those in combination around here, so it was good).  That being said, we also decided to take the kids out to dinner.  Steak N Shake :):):)  Well, I ate my daily allowance (plus some) of calories in that one meal :):):)  Oh well, sometimes you have to sacrifice for the fun of the family.